Green tones, like the ones I’d find in his eyes on lazy Sunday mornings, where the rays of sunshine would light the room and tint his gaze with honey and hope as he looked at me lovingly from the other side of the bed. The soft touch of his fingers would tangle in my hair as if playing with time: rewinding and stopping and making it all happen all over again. I’d smile, and notice the room be slowly drowned by sunlight as I’d trace his features softly with my hand, trying to memorise a body I will never forget.
Green like the leaves in a small town now thousands of miles away. The ones I could see every sunrise while walking to the bus stop, caressed by the wind and waving to the cold spring breeze. The kind that made me think of how nature keeps its own pace, independent from our lives full of racing thoughts and quick hugs. Premature goodbyes due to busy schedules and quick goodnight kisses that never see the morning light.
Like the nail polish and eyeliner she would wear, making her stand out from everyone else. Embracing the optimism that her thinking never followed, writing song lyrics on her notebook that reminds her of all she’s ever known: a world full of crazy anecdotes and the gentle touch of strangers on summer nights.
It was the colour of the tall grass in my grandparent’s house, how my tiny body was wrapped around its leaves and dandelions, only seeing green in front of me while blowing away the flowers in an attempt to make all my dreams come true. The sun would shine in oranges and yellows and turn the sky into blues and purples, its rays hugging my skin as I would run barefoot laughing and soaking the joy that only being as carefree as a child can bring.
It is the green in the specs of light I see when closing my eyes, hopeful for the new beginnings that paint the walls of my new room. A chapter filled with loneliness and rebirth, coming to terms with the nature of my individuality and solitude, a truce with all the notions I had of myself. A foreign air that whispers healing, the sour taste of letting go to finally move on.
A colour that embodies growth and renewal. One that slightly tints my journey as I connect the dots from my past, restless to find the core to my being and the steps I should follow to make this journey better. A colour that reminds me there will always be a brighter tomorrow, despite the lack of excitement for the monotony of today; every second that passes a gentle reminder that I am closer to experiencing moments that taste like dreams again.
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