My teenage years were defined by a turbulent pursuit. A pursuit that spanned months and years, daydreams and nightmares, periods of desperation and despair, puberty and awkwardness, weird side bangs and mismatched clothing. The pursuit was tiresome, seemingly endless and rocky. At times I felt like an empowered mountain climber, ready to put that flag up at the peak and psyched to take a picture up there that would diffuse through future generations. Other times I felt like I was floating in the big, wide ocean all alone, allowing the waves to decide my fate. Throughout the phases, I carried on, treading forwards with a single goal in mind.
Along the way I met people and animals. I met a girl with dark hair and an enchanting laugh that was unbelievably contagious. I met a boy with curly hair and an intriguing stare that knotted your stomach. I spent time with a golden spaniel, one that taught me to care and be gentle with others and myself. I met three cats that showed me independence, courage and determination. These people and animals pushed me forward every time I was ready to give up. They gave me superpowers that helped me in my pursuit: laughter, intrigue, kindness, independence, courage and determination.
The pursuit took me to enchanting lands. A land of mint chocolate gelatos, pizzas and cobblestones. A land of busy people, tube maps and famous bridges. A land of cheetahs, safaris and incredible sights. I travelled by air, by train, by road and by sea. I crossed thousands of miles, heard different languages and tried different cuisines.
I read books on history, vampires and teenage love. I watched Gossip Girl, The Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother. I listened to Katy Perry, Taylor Swift and Black Eyed Peas. All in the hopes of helping me find clues to fast track my pursuit. My pursuit to this crucial destination.
The destination remained unknown.
Where was I headed? And most importantly, why?
I was in search of someone.This someone whose name I had heard so often. I had heard so much about her all my life that I yearned to meet her, get to know her and hopefully become best friends with her. She sounded like a really cool person. She really loved all the same things I did: Taylor Swift, vampire books, how I met your mother. Could I ask for more?
Everyone talks about how strong she is, that she is mature, confident and smart. They say she takes on a lot of responsibility and is deeply in touch with her emotions. On the other hand, I’m shy, unsure and definitely not confident. I could call her my alter ego. Her name, I forgot to mention earlier, is Samara.
I have such a desire to meet Samara. I go to bed each night as I think of us getting to know each other and I get goosebumps sometimes! I think about how she could help me transform into the person I’ve always wanted to be. She can show me the way, teach me how to ignore the people who try and convince me that this pursuit is fruitless and help me stand up for myself and everything I believe in.
My teachers told me to focus on my studies, my family told me to focus on myself. I knew the only way my life could change forever was to meet her. Making internal changes seemed impossible and stupid. But I feel like I’m closer than ever now. I’m tired now and it’s about time my pursuit pays off.
I’m approaching the Land of Mirrors now. A big red sign reads “Warning: keep eyes on the ground. Mirrors can confuse and cause accidents”. My anxious side kicks into play. “Should I turn back? It seems scary and dangerous.” “If you turn back now there would be no point to your endless pursuit. There is only one way to go forward from here and it is through this.
I finally make a decision. Make the move and enter the land of mirrors with the big red warning sign on top of the gate. At first glance, there seem to be big mirrors, asymmetrical mirrors, and mirrors that distort your body shape. Obviously I decide to ignore the warning sign. My curiosity got the better of me. I look up and there is a mirror in the distance. It’s quite foggy looking, like those mirrors in fancy cafes and restaurants that ‘‘add to the ambience of the bathroom’’ with the dim lighting. I notice something really weird and I do a double take. It doesn’t seem like my reflection. It must be a body distorting mirror. I walk up close, with butterflies in my tummy; I’m scared. I approach the reflection and suddenly I find myself greeting it, strangely. A message pops up on the mirror, right above the reflection that reads “destination reached!”. I’m confused, the same way I feel when I see pineapple on pizza.
“Destination reached”?
I have reached my destination? The same one I’ve been pursuing for years? The same one I cried for? The same one that spanned what seemed like decades? It seems unreal.
But no, something within me tells me it was true. There she is. Standing right in front of me in the foggy looking mirror. Samara. Took me so long to get to her. To see her. I gave her a big hug. A long overdue one.
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