Quarantine

def: To isolate from normal relations or communication 

aka

One of the most used and most feared words of 2020

Let me tell you a short story that embodies my changing perspective on the word ‘quarantine’. 

Before we get into the story, let me explain my family terminology:

Mama - mother

Mamoo - uncle

Nani - grandmother

Apa - grandfather 

Masi - aunt 

London, March 15th 2020

“Samara, you have to get on a flight back home. The cases are soaring in London and I don’t want you to be stuck there for the next few months.”

“Okay mama. When should I leave?” 

London, March 16th 2020

“Happy birthday mama. I really miss you today. I’m really excited to see you once I’m back”

Mumbai, March 17th 2020

My boyfriend and I arrive in Mumbai, I go to his home for a few days (or so I thought).

His mum says, “You both can’t leave the flat for the next 2 weeks, the building has enforced mandatory quarantine for all students arriving from abroad.”

“That’s bloody insane”, I thought. 

Mumbai, March 24th 2020

A month long nation-wide lockdown has been announced. The start of a very, very long year. 

Mumbai, April 1st 2020

Moving to nani and apa’s house for the next 6 months 

Mumbai, April 12th 2020

“Happy birthday Mamoo, hope cases in New York aren’t too bad. Doesn't look good. Please be safe.” 

Mumbai, May 14th 2020

“Happy Birthday Sana, wish I was with you today. You are 16!”

Mumbai, May 26th 2020

“Happy Birthday Apa. I wish Sana, Mama and Mamoo could be here with us today.”

Mumbai, June 14th 2020

Over Whatsapp Video Call with my mother

“Happy birthday Samara. 21 has come too soon! I miss you baby.”

“I miss you too mama. I really wish you could be here.”

Mumbai July 15th 2020 

“Nani, I have a slight fever and I’m feeling really, really exhausted. I’m quite worried.”

“Don’t be stupid. All the Covid talk is getting to your head. You need to stop worrying.”

We eat dinner together. 

“I’m going in my room please don’t come in. Let’s keep some distance.”

I go to my room, take a paracetamol and go to bed with socks, 3 blankets and just the fan. It is 30 degrees outside. 

Mumbai July 16th 2020

“He’s here for the Covid test. Please wear a mask and come out” my Nani says through my bedroom door.

I’m barely awake, I put my mask on and head out to the chair placed right in front of the main door. The nose swab hurt me like hell, the throat was slightly more bearable. Tears rolled down my cheek and my eyes wouldn’t open because of the pain. 

I go back to my room and go to sleep. 

Quarantine, July 18th 2020

“It’s positive.”

“No, it’s a scam.”

I get my results via email and read over it maybe 15 times. 

It is positive. 

Quarantine, July 29th 2020

After the first really hard and seemingly boring week I develop my own routine. I have a course of medication, I do frequent inhilations, I never wear a bra, I drink a lot of coffee and green tea, I watch a shit-ton of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (4 seasons to be precise), I work all day, chat with my family and friends very often, I paint, I listen to true crime podcasts and I sleep. 

It’s a period of self-reflection. Yes, it’s forced, it is hard at times and I do want to step out and see what’s going on on the other side of the bedroom door, but I surprise myself at how quickly I adapt. I never really complain, I don’t feel as low as I thought I would. It’s a period of developing a relationship with myself, one that I hadn’t worked on for 21 years. I am comfortable talking to myself now especially when unwanted thoughts clog my mind. I am able to constructively deal with them. This period has made me realise how important prioritisation is   

Quarantine, August 8th 2020

“You are done now. You can leave the room! Congratulations”

“Wait masi are you sure. Shouldn’t we do another test to confirm I’m negative?”

“No sweety, these tests are very faulty, it's been more than 3 weeks now, we are sure you are okay.” 

My masi is a doctor, we speak nearly everyday. She has just recovered from Covid, a few days before I was diagnosed. We sent her food every few days when she had Covid, now she sends us food every few days. 

The truth is I am more than comfortable in my room, in my routine, doing things the way I wanted to without people judging me or interrupting me. I don’t want to start wearing a bra again and I really enjoy watching The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills with my meals. I do not want to watch the news every evening at 7pm. I fear I will lose touch with myself and get caught up in everyone else’s lives and routines. 

I have been in quarantine since March but this period of total isolation that has lasted a month has been somewhat special. It’s a mix of emotions and a journey of self-discovery and friendship. Perspective is such a funny thing: the idea of quarantine seemed so daunting to me, but once I was placed in the situation, once I was ‘quarantining’, things seem to adapt and fall right into place. 

Pune, September 30th 2020

“Happy birthday Nani! This is the first family birthday of the year that we’ve been able to spend together. Isn’t it lovely?”

I can’t lie, I am a little anxious about another 2 week isolation when I go back to London, but what really is life if not for a mix of anxiety, excitement and just about every other feeling in the book.