relatable

I have a confession to make. I haven’t been able to complete a book in 2 years. To be exact, ever since I started as a fresher at Goldsmiths. Before arriving at Loring Hall, Lewisham SE14 7AH, I was reading a book in less than a week. Consuming knowledge and devouring the beauty of literature. I learned about Rumi, Stephen Hawking’s research (don’t ask me about it, thanks) and the American South in the 80s. During my first two years at uni I might not have been reading books but I certainly was buying them. I eventually made a pact with myself and restricted myself to buying books I can ‘learn from’. That didn’t work out! A month ago I made an impulsive decision and bought a fiction book. It was on my bedside table for 3 weeks until I couldn't fight the urge to pick it up and start reading.

I’m reading and I’m confused. So many emotions are flowing through me as I read this book. I cry every time I read and no it's not about a dead pet. It's about Connell and Marianne and their complicated, intense and real relationship. I’ve never cried while reading a book, ever. It was unusual for me; it actually scared me at times. I found myself wondering why I was behaving in such a manner and I brainstormed. Perhaps it was the fact that I read at night, tired and exhausted after a full and stressful day. It could have been the fact that I missed my boyfriend and the story made me miss him a little more. It could also be because I found myself sharing striking similarities with Connell. These similarities are implicit and beautifully woven into the narrative however I picked up on them. I have a tendency to relate to most things I read, watch or hear.

The similarities between Connell and I were harsh realities that I had moved on from. They were ‘once upon a time’ in my head now but watching Connell’s character flow through the lines and spaces was almost like looking into a mirror in a time machine. Even though some of the similarities were discomforting, the way Sally Rooney builds his character is effortless, making the similarities more easy to accept.

In high school, Connells longing for validation and attention from his peers was relatable. His fear of judgement that constricted his true personality to shine through was relatable. His silent longing for Marianne and his unsaid desire for her was relatable. As he transitions to university, Connell feels isolated, like an outsider. He feels as though he is stuck between a rock and a hard place; university in Dublin is hard but going home is lonely. He lays on the floor for hours and begins to have very low episodes. He keeps his feelings to himself but has finally got some help. Also relatable.

The language is informal and simple. In my opinion, it accurately portrays the inner workings of the mind of a highschool/university student. And as a university student myself, I resonate with the story. They are really just “normal people”. And by that I mean unique and distinct in their own ways but with a common thread that runs through us all. Marianne’s carefree independence juxtaposes Connell’s fear of judgement, however they both love and want to be loved. Like most of us.

I am probably going to reread this book in a few months, just to really get to the bottom of why it triggered these severe emotions. Even though I think it was a combination of all three things (exhaustion, missing my boyfriend and resonating with Connell’s character), I still want to be sure. I might write another article soon to clarify my findings.

I’ve just ordered Rooney's debut novel Conversations with Friends.

And yeah, this book I’m referring to is called Normal People.