Patrick Bateman. Theo Decker. Quinn Fabray. Donald Draper. Kitty Pryde. Tiffany Maxwell. Amy Elliott Dunne. Claire Underwood. Roxie Hart. Larry Gray. Dan Woolf. And the list continues.
It took me a while to think of all the fictional characters I have ever identified with. There are countless of them.
Seeing someone on the screen and feeling a connection, a similarity that you rarely see in others around you. A common phenomenon, right? I suppose that is why filmmakers make movies out of stories with characters that resonate with wider audiences and pay millions to well-known, widely beloved actors. Why authors create protagonists that are based on themselves and musicians compose songs that express strong emotions felt by everyone at least once in their lifetime. You can hear echoes of yourself in these undisclosed silhouettes.
There are some questions that arose from the poor list provided above.
Firstly, what do all of these personalities have in common?
There is at least one similarity between any two characters from the list. For example, Quinn Fabray and Dan Woolf. Both are calm, go about their lives unbothered, but when rubbed the wrong way – appear to have rage issues. Or Patrick Bateman and Tiffany Maxwell – both have psychotic tendencies.
Another question is my sanity. All of these characters are sort of… damaged goods. They appear cool on the surface, are calm and balanced. But underneath – they are dark. Desolation hides under the thickest layers of skin. Suspicious, forever alert. Is this me too? Is it truly me I see in them? Should I be adding my own name to the list?
Thirdly, do I see myself in these characters, do I aspire to be these characters, or do I adopt their personalities?
It is entirely possible that I feel a void in my persona that needs to be filled, as if I am not enough so I need to evolve, thus adopting characteristics from personalities that I find ideal and attractive, even if they are non-existent. The less existent, the less reachable - the more ideal they seem.
On the other hand, in an article about why people relate to fictional characters, novelist Will Self writes that we like the fact that fictional characters seem to be filled with emotions and determination even though their fates are already known at the end of the book – so we identify with them. Because that is what our lives are too. Naturally, the more similar the character is to us, the more confusing it gets – how can these roles feel so familiar when they are not even real?
“[..] It's our conviction that fictional characters' hopes, fears and desires matter that allows fictions to become facts on the ground - a ground we sympathetically traverse alongside them,” writes novelist Will Self.
I guess I would rather admit to my slightly erratic and melancholic tendencies that align with Patrick Bateman and Donald Draper than fill my empty spaces with alien characteristics just to feel distinctive.
I do not need to become my alter egos. I need them to stand by and walk with me.
Totally unrelated side note: I can’t believe most Gen-Z’ers know of Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah because of Shrek.
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